WIMBLEDON CROWD ‘BENT DOUBLE’ AFTER PLAYER STRUMS RACKET LIKE GUITAR
Happy-clappy idiots beguiled by Wimbledon comedy
With the UK currently going to hell in a handcart, Brits were offered a small ray of sunshine in the gloom with the start of the annual comedy festival ‘Wimbledon’.
With most Brits in need of a pick-me-up after the post Brexit hangover wiped billions from the UK economy, help is at hand as thousands of happy-clappy, guffawing idiots are beguiled by the tournaments lighter, comedic moments. These include side splitting moments like the ball being caught one-handed in the crowd, a lineswoman’s voice breaks during a call of fault or even the 353rd ranked player in the world asking a ballboy to play the next point as they plunge to yet another straight sets defeat.
“You think delivering a best man speech at a wedding is an easy crowd, then you want to try centre court,” says one tournament official.
“You can do literally anything and these permagrin, chinless wonders will be in hysterics. I’ve seen grown men and women literally bent double when Richard Krajicek strummed his racket like a guitar. It’s f&*king embarrassing to be honest.”
“Lleyton Hewitt hurdled his chair at the end of a point a couple of years ago and one woman needed to be given oxygen.”
And the laughs don’t stop there as one SW19 trader confirms,
“We’ve got strawberries that were in the polytunnel last week going for 15 quid a portion, now that’s f£%king funny. There’s no Brexit recession here.”