UK TO REPLACE EU TRADE DEAL BY EXPORTING CONVICTS TO AUSTRALIA
Liam Fox promises not to f&*k up this time as preliminary trade talks begin
THE UK IS TO BEGIN preliminary talks with Australia about a future free trade deal between them. Australia has been earmarked by the UK as its first post-Brexit trade partner with an outline plan already on the table from the UK.
International Trade Secretary Liam Fox and his counterpart Steven Ciobo said they shared a "strong political commitment" to trade liberalisation.
A department spokesperson commented on the trade plan pushed forward by the UK, “I don’t know how we think of them! People saying we’ve no post Brexit plan should be ashamed of themselves after the creativity we’ve displayed with this beauty.”
“It’s simple really, we put 3,000 of the worst criminal offenders on boats to a new life down under and the Aussies get to lock them up at their end and keep the boats. It’s win, win. Scott thought of it after his pilates session yesterday.”
“I know it might sound like a complete dog’s breakfast but we’ve got our absolute best man on this job. Dr Liam Fox and his official adviser Adam Werrity are brimming with confidence that he’s not going to f&*k up this time.”
Nigel Farage is delighted at the prospect of the new deal saying yesterday:
“This is what we meant by taking back control of our country. This trade deal is going to put Britain and Australia, err, well, on the map.”