UK SAVERS URGED TO SET FIRE TO SAVINGS NEXT WINTER
New scheme offers more value than current rates says Government
UK savers left reeling from years of stagnant rates have a new investment option as from this morning with the introduction of a new scheme aimed at providing value during the cold and difficult months of next winter.
The scheme which is the brainchild of the Treasury officials, urges savers to convert all their assets to cash and then set fire to it using a simple match or lighter with the resultant heat providing a means of staying warm.
“I don’t know how we think of them” a Treasury official said yesterday, “This new scheme currently offers the best value in the market place.”
Interest rates for savers have fallen to new record lows, after hundreds of cuts in recent months and more than 1,000 in the past year. Tax-free Isas, fixed rate bonds and easy access accounts are all at or near their lowest points.
"Many people relying on their savings income are worse off than ever before, so we suggest putting your money to work like never before,” he continued “simply set fire to it and bask in its warmth when the cold sets in.”