STAR WARS FAN PLANS TO TAKE OVER WORLD
Obamacare to be scrapped to fund Death Star over Middle East
Star Wars fan Donald Trump last night announced his plans to take over the world starting today on May (-the-force) 4th.
Having disposed of his main rival, the rebel sympathiser Ted Cruz, Trump is now set to be crowned emperor of the Republican Party.
"When I am emperor, I shall crush the pathetic Democrat rebels and make the Universe a place to be proud of again." Said the almighty one, displaying his fearsome new warrior barnet. "From this day forth I shall be known as Darth Trump and all who stand in my way shall perish."
"All droids and poor people will be banished to Tatooine, the new name for Mexico, and will have to bus in from there to provide the cheap labour the Empire needs, but for less money or get a light sabre up their asses."
Speaking of the terrorist threats posed to the Empire, Darth Trump confirmed he was already using the dark side of the force to put death chokes on Congress to persuade them to scrap Obamacare to enable to fund the building of a Death Star over the Middle East.
"If that doesn't talk 'em round I'll just do it anyway. The Empire don't take shit from anyone."