SPORTS DIRECT ANNOUNCE PLANS TO OPEN NEW FREE SCHOOL
Latin, arithmetic and being flogged on curriculum
Sports Direct announced this morning they have received the green light from the government to open their first academy under the free school scheme.
The school which is situated near the firms warehouse HQ in Shirebrook promises a ‘first class’ education for each child with a particular focus on Latin, arithmetic and being flogged.
A spokesman said: “We’re delighted to announce the opening of the new Sports Direct Academy Free School in time for the new academic year commencing in September. This is a wonderful opportunity for Sports Direct to give something back to the community under the government’s free school scheme and we look forward to sharing the same values that has made Sports Direct such a highly regarded employer.”
“We’re ploughing endless funding into this venture and providing the children with the resources they need for a first class education. Each child will receive a slate and chalk of their own with six lashes of the cane for each one that’s broken or lost.”
“We’ve developed a core syllabus for developing the generation of tomorrow. The school day begins at 7am with Latin recital followed by arithmetic. Boys and girls are then split between metalwork and sewing for the rest of the day. And there is an extensive extra-curricular programme available with work experience opportunities made available down the mine in key stage 3.”
The Government welcomed the rolling out of their free school initiative in the area as an Education spokesperson confirmed, “We’re delighted that so many reputable employers are choosing to be a part of the free school initiative and we couldn’t have hoped for a better partner than Mike Ashley and his wonderful team at Sports Direct.”