SIMON COWELL FEEDS OLLY MURS AND CAROLINE FLACK TO KOMODO DRAGON IN HIS EVIL JUDGE'S HOUSE
Nervous Louis Walsh confirms presenting duo have failed him for last time
WITH X FACTOR RETURNING TO our screens this Saturday, it’s been confirmed that Simon Cowell has fed Caroline Flack and Olly Murs to the Komodo Dragon he keeps in the dungeon of his evil Judge's House.
Speaking on behalf of Cowell yesterday, returned favourite Louis Walsh said, “I,I,I d,don’t know what to say. One minute they were there, getting dressed down by Simon and being told they’d failed him for the last time, then suddenly Dermot O’Leary pulled a lever and they were gone. Caroline’s screams will haunt me for a long time.”
Music mogul Cowell has claimed he has “no idea” how much viewers would miss host Dermot O’Leary and judge Louis Walsh, when they were dropped in favour of presenting duo Murs and Flack last year, with new panellists Rita Ora and Nick Grimshaw completing the changed line-up. However, the changes proved to be a flop with viewers turning off in their millions as Murs grinned his way through a series of gaffs and Grimshaw offered all the charisma of a northern speak-your-weight machine.
As the savage reptile feasted by ripping flesh from Olly Murs’ limp body, the hapless dying presenter still managed a fake smile and was heard to say, “I’ve had a brilliant journey, let’s look at my best bits.”