SARAH VINE SAYS MICHAEL GOVE SPENT LAST NIGHT ON THE SOFA
"It’s like trying to do House of Cards with the f*%&ing Chuckle Brothers," rages wife
It’s being reported that Michael Gove woke with a stiff back this morning after Sarah Vine made him spend last night on the sofa.
“Honestly it’s like trying to do House of Cards with the f*%&ing chuckle brothers," said Vine, "He’s sleeping on the sofa until he comes back with a deal for a new cabinet position from Theresa.”
“I told him that ‘Putting the Gove into Government’ line was shit and would draw attention to his name, but he wasn’t having it. Boris was circulating ‘Goveuck yourself’ pamphlets inside the hour. He's like a bloody pound shop Francis Urquhart.”
Vine, who works at the Daily Mail thinks the leadership race is as good as done now her husband’s Machiavellian plotting got him the arse end of nowhere.
“It’ll be Theresa now, no doubt,” she says, “No-one in their right mind is going to vote for Leadsom, she’s batshit crazy. But then I’ve spent the last week thinking my useless husband might be PM so what do I know? He’s no excuse to not get those bloody shelves up now.”