REST OF COUNTRY SURPRISED DIANE JAMES LASTED 18 DAYS
Policies from Tory conference make UKIP look like sympathetic, pinko, basket weaving lefties
DIANE JAMES HAS QUIT as UKIP leader after just 18 days with most of the Country surprised she lasted as long as that.
“Well done Diane James!” cheered one observer, “to have tolerated bigoted UKIP bores for all of 18 days is a feat of endurance of the type that made Britain great!” adding “I’d have gone after being slavered on by Nigel.”
James was elected to replace Nigel Farage as leader last month, but stepped down late on Tuesday night.
A variety of reasons are being suggested for the surprise U-turn with many commenting that there is little point in UKIP existing whilst the policies currently being announced at the Tory conference make them look like sympathetic, pinko, basket weaving lefties.
James herself hinted that this may lie behind her decision:
“I thought we still have a reason to exist, to lay into migrants, impose a crazed, hard Brexit, reintroduce Grammar Schools, but then I cast a sideways glance at what Theresa May’s doing and thought, what’s the point?!"
Meanwhile, UKIP supporters are in a state of flux this morning and venting their frustrations.
“I’ve got cheese that has been in my fridge longer than Diane James was UKIP leader, it’s a disgrace,” says Kevin Nads of Barrow.
“They need to get Stephen Woolfe in now, at least he doesn’t look shit in Aquascutum.”