PM PLANS TO TACKLE POTENTIALLY DIVISIVE GRAMMAR SCHOOLS BY FIRST LABELLING FAMILIES EITHER RICH OR POOR
System will allow us to fill quotas with token riff raff says PM
The expansion of grammar schools in England will be accompanied by conditions requiring them to take a proportion of riff raff, the prime minister has said.
Theresa May set out her position in a statement to the press yesterday, "We're tackling the issue of the divisiveness of grammar schools head on by first labelling families either rich or poor. This will enable us to clearly know how many token kids to let in for quota purposes.”
When pressed on the evidence of the benefits for Grammar Schools and their overwhelming appeal amongst members of her own party, she wistfully commented,
"Nostalgia really, the sound of leather on willow in the summer, boiled sweets hidden in desks, children arbitrarily flogged by dangerously eccentric and unhinged teachers. They were great days and we’re bringing them back," adding "We’re just grateful we can sneak this one through whilst labour are busy eating themselves from the inside out.