NEW SAMSUNG 7 EQUIPPED WITH HANDY APP FOR CARRYING OUT INSURANCE JOBS BOAST MANUFACTURERS
“My iPhone couldn’t do that” says former garage owner awaiting payout
The new Samsung Galaxy Note 7 smartphone comes equipped with a handy app for carrying out insurance jobs on failing businesses and unsellable property its manufacturers have announced.
Samsung issued a hurried statement last night after some customers complained their handsets had spontaneously combusted but the company were quick to point out it was an added feature for the owners of struggling businesses.
“It’s a brand new feature of this phone,” boasts Head of Product Development Keith Snatch.
“There’s no more messing about with dangerous petrol and matches when you’re torching a failing business for the insurance. Our latest phone takes care of that for you.”
“If you’re a restauranteur for instance, simply leave your phone charging overnight by the cooking oil or some other accelerant and hey presto, it’s hello Mr insurance payout and you’re off the hook for the business rates.”
Some happy customers have already taken care of the added feature. “I was having sleepless nights as I couldn’t pay the rent on my motor repair business,” says Kevin Webster a former garage owner from Salford, “But the Samsung 7 soon sorted it out for me. I’m just waiting for the final figure from the loss adjusters now. My iPhone couldn’t do that.”