JOHNSON THRILLED AT NEW POST?

Boris to commence apologetic tour of world embassies 

Boris Johnson said today he was humbled and honoured at being appointed foreign secretary by new Prime Minister Miss Haversham.
 
However Tory insiders suggest that beneath the smiles all may not be well.
 
“Boris is gushing outside but he's gutted really. This appointment means that he's now got to visit every embassy in the world to apologise to all the nations he's upset with his rambling colonial Major from Fawlty Towers style racism. After all he's upset more races than The Duke of Edinburgh,” adding “He can’t even be diplomatic to Liverpudlians.”
 
Johnson himself simply said, “Great honour, burr, can't wait to get out there and meet Johnny Foreigner, burr, eh, what?”
 
The new PM's press secretary denied reports that the new envoy to the UN will be Jeremy Clarkson.

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