JEREMY CORBYN: ‘I’LL SEE YOUR BORIS AS FOREIGN SECRETARY AND RAISE YOU DIANE ABBOTT AS SHADOW HOME SECRETARY’
Labour somehow manage a worse day than UKIP with self sabotage masterclass
Despite their leader in waiting being hospitalised in a fist fight with a colleague, the UKIP circus still managed a less damaging than the masters of self sabotage, Labour.
Diane Abbott has been promoted to shadow home secretary in Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn's front bench reshuffle.
One senior figure said the reshuffle so far looked "vengeful and cackhanded" whilst another labelled it "shit".
At the top of the shit list is the decision to impose Diane Abbott as shadow home secretary as she bids to hold equally loathsome Amber Rudd to account.
However, a number of Labour MP’s were championing the move, “This is a masterstroke from General Jeremy!” claimed one. “What better way to distance ourselves from the anti-Semitic controversy with some blunt anti-white rhetoric?”
“Or maybe Diane could kick off with her views on why despite murdering tens of millions of his citizens, Mao was still a force for good in the world. That should get them looking the other way. We need to find a way to move on from Ken’s views on Hitler.”
But after feasting on a dead squirrel and hosing herself down for the press, Abbott was unrepentant, “Bring it on,” she said. “I might have recently called 17.4 million British people stupid and racist but I’m definitely the woman to bring unity from the front bench.”