FARAGE EU ‘VICTORY’ SPEECH SO BAD UK CALLS IT QUITS FOR SAVING EUROPE IN WW2
UK forced into first major concession
Great Britain was so embarrassed by the vainglorious, posturing victory speech from Nigel Farage in the EU parliament yesterday that we’ve officially had to call it quits over World War 2 it has emerged.
Several European member states owe their liberty and freedom from Nazi tyranny to the role played by Britain in the Second World War but we’ve all agreed to forget about it now after Nigel Farage spent yesterday simultaneously insulting everyone in sight and eroding the future UK bargaining position with each syllable.
“We’ve agreed to put it behind us now,” said one UK diplomat, “They’ve said they’ll try and forget about that dick Farage and we’ll not mention the war again.”
“To say he’s a loose cannon is an understatement, it was like he was pissed up doing an after dinner turn.”
“And his "never done a proper job" shtick is a bit rich coming from somebody who, pre-Brussels, spent 20 years having lunch. He’s got the worst voting record of any MEP too. I never thought I'd miss Bob Geldof shouting abuse at Nigel Farage on a barge so much as I did when he was on his feet yesterday.”
However, Farage has support in the EU parliament from French far right leader Marie Le Pen. A spokesperson for Le Pen said yesterday, “We think Nigel Farage shows great levels of humanity. Especially when you consider that genetically he's mostly snake.”