FA LAUD ALLARDYCE OVER IMPRESSIVE MANBAG
Roy lost dressing room with High Street suit deal
England managerial hopeful Sam Allardyce apparently wowed the FA this week after reportedly turning up at Soho Square clutching a thousand pound designer man purse.
Speaking over a champagne breakfast at the Dorchester Hotel an FA spokesman said, “It's this kind of attention to detail that has really propelled Sam to the front of the queue. This is the kind of important focus that we've been lacking and we feel the players will really respect and listen to a man with this kind of accessory, unlike Roy with his Moss Bros wallet. Cheapskate.”
“We should have realised that M&S suit deal made his position untenable, Jack Wilshire is used to Duchamp London, how is he expected to go out on the pitch and perform with High Street threads on his peg?”
“It was clear Roy had lost the dressing room by the end. He would insist on 3 items only behind the curtain and the players had lost respect. We need a new boss who can meet both the technical and sartorial demands of the job.”
Meanwhile, after reluctantly giving the FA permission to speak to Allardyce, ‘Big Sam's’ current employers Sunderland are reported to be furious.
Spokesman Fred Rabies said,
“Who the hell else can we get to come and live and work in this shitpit?”