DON’T BLAME MY RAHEEM!
His little legs aren’t designed for stepovers explains Mum
Raheem Sterling’s Mum came out in defence of her son last night after his staggeringly inept performance in England’s Euro 16 campaign.
Whilst Pound Sterling dropped to a 31 year low yesterday, it still had a better time than Raheem Sterling who spent most of the past 3 weeks walking around aimlessly in French fields wondering what he was supposed to be doing.
But Raheem’s Mum is quick to defend the £50 million forward.
“Don’t blame my Raheem! It’s not his fault, people should realise it’s all he can do to run around on those little legs. They’re not designed to do stepovers or skills or passing. When he tries, he just falls over.”
“I know people are angry about the result saying the population of Iceland is only 300,000 well Raheem's got more kids than that and with so many mouths to feed on just £180K a week, his head is scrambled.”
“I spoke to him after the game last night and he was upset. He and some of the other players were going to drown their sorrows with a few drinks but he’d walked up to the bar, then tried to go around the bar, backed away from the bar, and then fell over the bar. It was a bad night for him.”
Disappointed fans have been more scathing in their assessment of Sterling though, “He’s just a shit Tony Daley,” said one England supporter, adding “He played like he’d been on his Shisha pipe all afternoon again.”