DARTH TRUMP “THE EWOKS CAN PAY!”
Ewoks struggle to fund Death Star with only bark and berries as currency
IMPERIAL HOPEFUL Darth Trump today promised the Empire’s voters that should he be elected Emperor, then not only will they all live but he will build a Death Star to keep all Ewoks on their own planet. And better still the Ewoks will have to pay for it!
"It is time that these rodents were kept in their place. We can't have them stealing jobs off the rest of us who are over four feet tall," said the Supreme Commander.
Ewok chief Bert Furryknackers said, "eh? It's news to me. Not sure how he expects us to cough up, we've only got berries and bark as currency."
Darth did however seem to fudge the issue of repatriation. Despite earlier having said that all Ewoks would be sent home, he has now reduced this pledge to only those who can't behave themselves.
"We have to be sensible on this,” he says, “Some of those guys make great bog brushes."