NEW RADIOHEAD ALBUM - PONCES MAKE HARD WORK OF RELEASE
Comment:
You may have heard there is a new Radiohead album afoot. You'll have heard this because as usual they have shut down all social media output, then have begun to slowly drip out 'cryptic' clues in the form of videos or leaflets delivered to fan club members.
This is all lapped up by the arseheads at The Guardian and The Quietus, who hold it up as proof of the Oxford miserablists' godlike status and artistic genius. How clever! Clues as to what the album might be called and even if it is coming out at all. You little teasers! And we can join in and be part of the wheeze, mocking those who haven't worked it out yet. And how proud we are, because clearly we are on the same wavelength as the band, so we must be true fans not like the plebs.
Actually it's not clever or artistic. It's tedious. Like a parent who every birthday wraps your present in numerous boxes like Russian dolls (or in this case makes you do crossword clues to discover its location) even you're well into adulthood. You know it's your birthday, you know you're going to get a present, you know it's going to be quite good, yet you know you have to go through this obnoxious charade to get it.
You've been releasing records since 1992. You've sold 30 million records. You're nearly 50. Bloody grow up and do something truly shocking like just releasing an album normally.
Maybe I've got it wrong. Maybe Thom Yorke is just bored and likes to jerk the press around, or it's his equivalent of Bieber gobbling on fans. Maybe it's not him. Maybe the rest of the band are Foxton and Welch to his Weller going 'it's not fair you write all the tunes and do the interviews' so he just chucks them this as a bone 'er, you can to the mysterious release thing if you want?'. Maybe he's desperate to stop but the rest won't let him? 'Come on Thom, we always do the release thing!'
Maybe. But as this is a man in his late forties who bases his look on Frank Gallagher, I doubt it. Face it this band is made up of men children who've never left the sixth form, and think they're being real smart. There's no need boys. It'll be a good album no matter how it's released. And frankly it doesn't matter what games you play, it still won't make it as good as Joy Division.
This is all lapped up by the arseheads at The Guardian and The Quietus, who hold it up as proof of the Oxford miserablists' godlike status and artistic genius. How clever! Clues as to what the album might be called and even if it is coming out at all. You little teasers! And we can join in and be part of the wheeze, mocking those who haven't worked it out yet. And how proud we are, because clearly we are on the same wavelength as the band, so we must be true fans not like the plebs.
Actually it's not clever or artistic. It's tedious. Like a parent who every birthday wraps your present in numerous boxes like Russian dolls (or in this case makes you do crossword clues to discover its location) even you're well into adulthood. You know it's your birthday, you know you're going to get a present, you know it's going to be quite good, yet you know you have to go through this obnoxious charade to get it.
You've been releasing records since 1992. You've sold 30 million records. You're nearly 50. Bloody grow up and do something truly shocking like just releasing an album normally.
Maybe I've got it wrong. Maybe Thom Yorke is just bored and likes to jerk the press around, or it's his equivalent of Bieber gobbling on fans. Maybe it's not him. Maybe the rest of the band are Foxton and Welch to his Weller going 'it's not fair you write all the tunes and do the interviews' so he just chucks them this as a bone 'er, you can to the mysterious release thing if you want?'. Maybe he's desperate to stop but the rest won't let him? 'Come on Thom, we always do the release thing!'
Maybe. But as this is a man in his late forties who bases his look on Frank Gallagher, I doubt it. Face it this band is made up of men children who've never left the sixth form, and think they're being real smart. There's no need boys. It'll be a good album no matter how it's released. And frankly it doesn't matter what games you play, it still won't make it as good as Joy Division.
